She lay against the rock panting.  The dry heat engulfed her. Everything looked the same, monotonous. Images of death played through her mind.  She would die.  She could barely move.  She had no water.  She was alone in the desert.  She had chosen to come here to this desolate place.  But some things are worse than death, aren’t they?  She had run away from slavery and abuse.  She wanted to be free, but death? Was that the only way?  

She placed her hand over her belly.  A stab of pain shot through her soul.  What about the baby?  They would both die, alone and forgotten.  Her parched lips, barely moving, formed a prayer, “Please God.”  She had no real idea who or what that was.  From her days in Egypt, she remembered the gods of the priests. Those gods were always angry and needed to be appeased.  She shuddered.  She was so sick of appeasing.  But death? Was that the only way out?  

There was the god of her master and mistress.  They said their god was loving and kind – that he really cared.  If that was true, they didn’t show it. She had obeyed her mistress – her mistress who lived in anguish and shame because she went year after year with an empty womb, a curse to any woman.  

She slept with the master as her mistress wished.  Her womb had become full, the seed-bearing fruit. She was with child.  But she knew when the child was born it would not be hers.  It would belong to her mistress and master.  She resented that more each day.  She hated her mistress for it.  Yes, sometimes she was rebellious and defiant: talking back, refusing to do what she was told, clenching her jaw and fists.  How long could she endure being forced and controlled in every aspect of her life?  Her mistress responded by treating her harshly, beating her, isolating her.  Finally, she could take it no more.  She ran away.  A little food and a container of water was all she took, but she was free.  Free, yes, but death?  She didn’t want to die – she and her baby.  

Suddenly, she sensed a presence – warm air, sweet light, a Being.  Fear surged through her body.  The Being addressed her.  “What are you doing here and where are you going?”  Haltingly the words tumbled out in short raspy sentences.  “I . . . ran away.  I . . . couldn’t stand it.  Now . . . I’m going to . . . die.”  The last sentence was spoken in stark terror.  Speaking the words out-loud forced her to face the real hopelessness of her situation.  The Being spoke again melting her fear like sun on snow.  The voice was like many beautiful musical instruments – lilting and lovely.  “Hagar, you will live.  You will have a son.  I will bless you.  You will have many children, grand children, and great-grand children. You must go back to your mistress.  But know this – you are free.  No one can enslave you without your consent.  I will be with you.”  

She sat up looking around her to get a better look at this Being.  “You are God”, she said in awe.  “You are the God That Sees Me.”  

The lovely lilting voice spoke again, “Hagar, open your eyes and see.”  She looked and saw a well, a spring in the desert – water and life.  The Being faded.  New life flowed through her body like a stream.  “This is a sacred place.  This is the God Sees Me Spring, (Beer Lahai Roi).  I have seen the One who sees me. I am alive.  I am free.”  

Genesis 16

Author’s Note – Hagar is the first person in scripture to name God.  She is also the first woman in scripture to receive an annunciation – an announcement from a divine being of the coming of a child.