As I biked this morning, I had some thoughts about habits.
“Why is it so easy to drop good habits or pick up bad ones? Why is it so hard to stop bad habits and start good ones?” If I’m going to bike, it’s usually about 7 AM-ish before it gets too hot. I live in Florida. When it gets close to that time my self-talk begins. “You’ve got a lot to do, you don’t really have time to ride this morning.” Or, “It’s too hot out there already, you shouldn’t really ride today.” Or, “You can do it later, maybe you’ll swim in the pool later, that’s it, or you could get out an exercise tape, or you could watch an exercise show on TV. You could do those things inside with air-conditioning.”
The voice tries to talk me out of exercising or at least postpone it. To be fair, there is the other voice as well, although more muted. “You know you always feel better after you ride.” Or, “If you wait you won’t do it.” This morning, I said to the disparaging voice, “Thank-you for sharing, I’m going riding now.” Cutting off that voice was my only salvation because once I’m embroiled in the dialogue, I’m a goner, just saying.
I got on my clothes and shoes, got the bike out, put on my helmet, and rode. Then I thought, “Why do I go through this?” Once I’ve hit the road, I love the alive feeling. Wind in my face. Sweating slightly, Puffing a little hard. Wonderful! The world is fresh and clean. I ride through neighborhoods with mirrored retention ponds reflecting palms and live oaks. I meander beside a pristine golf course and through waving grassy fields. How could I let the self-talk demon keep me from this experience? But it happens more often than I would like to admit.
Paul understands and seems to speak my thoughts in Romans 7. This is from the Message Bible:
“It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge. I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me?”
Yes, there is someone who can help. Paul says, “The only one who can do anything for me is Jesus Christ. He acts to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.”
My prayer, “Jesus, I’m committed to feeling alive and taking care of this body, Your temple. Cut those self-talk demons off at the pass. Through your power, I will listen to your still small voice and obey. Amen”
